Thursday, 4 March 2010

Hen Pecked

Max, our Rooster/Cockerel, is kicking up. Big time - with spurs on. The worm-catcher has suddenly turned.
I think I have written here before on what a coward Max used to be; bristling and bustling and shouting aggressively until I looked him in the eye, then strutting away pretending the bluster was all about something else, over there, on the other side of the coop.
But no longer. No more the Craven Crowboy. He has suddenly become immensely, almost suicidally, brave.
When I go out each morning to feed and water him and the harem, he waits until I am busy with the water dispenser, or whatever, then hurls himself full force into me from behind - like Berlusconi at a Miss Italy contestant.
And when I turn and challenge him, he puffs himself up all over, shouts the chicken equivalent of 'Banzai!' and wades back in for more.
It is well to go armed these days. This morning I happened to be carrying the chain saw, (blade in its cover I hasten to say) and was able to parry him with a smart blow to the wattles, which discouraged him long enough for me to collect the eggs and toe it.
Hard to know how to proceed. I must confess he amuses me hugely - now more than ever - and I would hate to make him all timid again by clouting him too hard. But sometimes, other people have to get the eggs and so forth, and should not have to go toe to beak with the Feathered Fury.
Suggestions welcomed, the more absurd, the better.


Laura said...

Great post..made me laugh so hard it was apparent that I am not working!

Seems like carrying a chain saw around would work to deter all kinds of aggression. I may get one.

Susan said...

Buy him a bicycle and teach him to ride in circles.

Yeebaa Discounts said...

Hey Dadre, that post made me laugh. Lots.
To your predicament, though.
Your only other option (other than unsheathing the chain saw and starting it) is to buy or make another rooster yours can pick on - thereby, like slight of hand misdirection, allowing you to l-egg it.
Proper feathered models are available from Allegory Pecked, Cooperville, Hentucky. not sure if they export.