Saturday, 20 February 2010

Opus Damian?

Long time no blog. Sorry. One reason is that I have recently subject to recurring attacks of a lifelong, though happily unthreatening, malaise - commonly referred to in medical circles as "idleness."
But idleness is not all to blame. I have also become transfixed to the point of immobility by The Blog of Damian Thompson. It is to be found in The Daily Telegraph online, under Blogs, then go to Religion. If I knew how, I would make a link or something.
But you know me.
Anyway, when you visit said blog, you will see a photograph of Damian. It shows him to be both very young and amazingly lifelike. Due to his tender years he is still having trouble fixing his tie, but we are confident he will have it mastered within months, if not weeks. Shoelaces may take longer.
As to the blog, it must be read to be believed. Not so much for his own entries, which are for the most part anodyne enough, but for the responses he provokes.
The other day, someone was advocating a new reconquista in Europe. Where I live, they haven't go over the last one yet. Only recently have they started digging the first of the bodies up.
As a newcomer to Damian's blog, I congratulate him. It's an unalloyed masterpiece of nostalgic trivia.
The heady admixture of incense, candle wax, paranoia, suspicion, bluster and fear instantly transports me back in Proustian fashion over half a century to my Catholic 'education.'
Clearly a great many of the commenters are familiar with one another and seem to occupy their entire day in arcane and pedantic bickering over Catholic-Anglican mminutiae which would not detain any rational human for a nanosecond.
Sadly, a high proportion of them are clearly barking, and a danger to society if allowed out unsupervised, thus the blog performs a valuable social function.
It also puts one in mind of medieval greybeards debating how many angels can dance on the head of a pin - but brought up to 'date' as a gang of pinheads dancing on an angel.
Having said this - which is, of course, kindly meant - I intend to avail myself regularly of its riches.
All good harmless fun, it seemed at first sight. But I can be a bit slow on the uptake. It suddenly hit me like a Blinding Flash - as we cliche-mongers say - that it might All Be The Work of Opus Dei. - (Burst of sinister chords reaching sonorous climax) - Coo, er.
So if, or more likely when, my lifeless corpse is found strangled with rosary beads, Mossad and Alastair Campbell can safely be excluded from the list of suspects.

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